


Lost and Found

by Kattlarv



Series: The Stray [3]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Affection, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal Traits, Anxiety, Asexual Character, Banter, Bullying, Confessions, Cunt Tease, Depression, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Heart-to-Heart, Hopeful Ending, Horny Teenagers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Inner Dialogue, Insecurity, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Sex, Introspection, Jealousy, Lesbian Sex, Light Dom/sub, Loneliness, Meta, Misunderstandings, Nervousness, Orgasm, POV First Person, Panic Attacks, Pet Names, Self Confidence, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Reflection, Sexual Content, Sexual Inexperience, Slice of Life, Social Anxiety, Teasing, Time Skips, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25577956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattlarv/pseuds/Kattlarv
Summary: Catra has slowly come to terms with her new life.But life rarely comes without troubles. And life is about to throw her a sudden curveball.Can she manage to tackle the new challenges,or will she buckle under pressure?
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Series: The Stray [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656604
Comments: 12
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (I was waaay slow to upload this. It's been done for over 2 months... it's just been A LOT to proofread and stuff.)  
> (I just hope it managed to go into an okay direction. And sorry for the massive ballooning in size. Not sure what happened there.)

I rolled over in bed. The last few weeks had been hectic. The bullying had all but stopped, but now I felt more excluded than ever. No-one dared to talk to me. I’m glad I stopped getting verbal jabs... and physical jabs on a daily basis but... now there was just a deafening silence. I cracked a smile. Nothing’s good enough for me eh? I’m provided with everything I could need, and I’m still not satisfied.

What am I missing? My ear flicked as Adora’s phone rang. Her ringtone was indeed accurate. She was ‘ready to fight’ most times of the day. “Hello?” she answered. Her face fell from her regular composed smile, and she hurried into the bathroom. My spine crawled as I watched her speed walk past me. I sat upright. What could get Adora to feel worried? The only person I’ve seen give less fucks is that Mermestia chick.

I perked my ears, but the soundproofing made it inaudible. I sat with a baited breath. After what felt like an eternity, she finally came out of the bathroom. She fidgeted with her phone. I tried to read her expression, but couldn’t manage to figure it out. “Well, I have good news, and bad news...” She mentioned with a sheepish smile. “What’s the bad news?” I inquired.

“Well, despite what we’ve agreed upon together... you don’t legally qualify as a ‘pet’...” She replied. I quirked a brow as my ears tilted. “Uh... okay? What’s the good news? “I got accepted into the regionals.” She added while rubbing the back of her head. My ears shot up. “Ooh! That’s great news!” I squeed.

My face fell after a couple seconds. Wait, what had she meant by the pet comment? “Yeah... but it means I have to travel out of state for around two weeks.” She gave me a sheepish smile. My world came to a halt for a split second as the pit in my stomach ballooned. I was seconds away from a panic attack. Before I could register, my head was enveloped in warmth as she caressed my scalp.

She hushed me softly. “Relax mittens... you can do this. You are strong.” She cooed, slowly helping me get my breathing under control. Two weeks? How am I supposed to last that long? I’m toast at school without her there to protect me. I scrunched my nose. “The hostel I’ll be staying at did allow pets but... you know.” She ruffled my hair. I folded my ears and shrunk down.

“Not what you were thinking off?” She asked. I shook my head. “If you leave me alone at school...” I murmured. She caressed me reassuringly. “Don’t worry kitty. If you’re not in pristine condition when I get back... well~” she gripped my mane tightly with a frighteningly calm smile. “Besides, I’ve set up a fail-safe, in case.” She chimed. I furrowed my brows at her. “Please, we don’t have the same classes. Do you think I’m leaving you unsupervised for hours on end?” she scoffed amusedly.

My heart skipped a beat. I’m not sure if in joy or fear. She has... someone watching me? I forced a smile. I tried to purr, but my throat was clogged up. I was getting better at communicating, but it was taking time to undo years of neglect. It’s not like I can just will myself to have self-confidence. That crawling pit of self-doubt is always within reach. Ready to tell me I’m not good enough. 

“You’ll be fine you fuzzball. There’s enough food in the fridge for a week for one person. And then we have... the twelve knows how much is in the freezer. Worst case you can eat out.” She noted, then leaned in close. “Just don’t ‘eat out’...” She added huskily. My cheeks flared up. She withdrew and headed over to her wardrobe, starting to rummage through it while she tapped her chin thoughtfully. 

I can’t help but wonder if she finds me less attractive... during our first week, she made me cum once, sometimes twice per day. Whether I wanted to or not... I mean, I never tried to resist... it was easier to just let it happen. My body  **did** crave the attention, but still. Then I had to do chores to get it. And now I have to ‘ask nicely’ for it... except I also have to give her these... vouchers. And I have four per week.

I genuinely have no idea what she is trying to accomplish with this. Is she teasing me? Or trying to teach me something? Discipline? Whatever it is, she better stop it before my estrus starts. Or I’ll be climbing the walls. It’s not a joke. I  **need** to cum during that... I fidgeted in bed. I mean, I  _ can _ just jerk myself off... but it feels weird when I have someone to do it for me.

My eyes widened. Oh... did she want me to be more self-sufficient? She has kinda... been taking care of me for weeks now. I’ve started pulling my weight but... why with sex? It feels sooo much better when she does it. Her fingers are so smooth, and... claw-less. I exhaled and leaned back. I loved leaning back against her chest, feeling her breathe as I was at her mercy. I let out a wistful growl.

“Something the matter mittens?” she piped up from across the room. My tail flicked anxiously. Should I go for it? ... I’m gonna go for it. “Um, how come we don’t....” I trailed off and bit into my lip. “Why we don’t fuck as often any-more?” she offered. My ears shot up as I blushed. “Oh, that’s easy kitty: Over-saturation.” She replied dismissively. I tilted my head with a quirked brow.

“I overstimulated you at the start, to get you to calm down and bond with me.” She noted. “Then I slowed down a bit so you wouldn’t build a resistance to endorphins.” She continued. “And now I’m trying to give your body a break, so that when we pick back up again, it will still feel special to you.” She added. I blinked, unable to think off a response as she turned back around to resume rummaging.

I... what? “I gave you coupons in case you really needed some relief you know~” she chimed over her shoulder. I blinked once more, even slower. I... I hadn’t really felt an urge. She held me at night, and that was enough for me. The sensation of her skin dancing along my tender flesh was something else though~ ... but, it had gotten a little monotone. Routine... maybe she had a point?

I didn’t know you could have too much sex! ... I mean, I know you can over-use a vibrator, but... sex? Could you become a sex junkie? ... actually, yes. I can easily see that happening. Well, I guess that explains that at least. Maybe I shouldn’t pursue sex unless I’m in a mood? It sounds pretty reasonable. Adora is  **very** ... horny when she wants to fuck. It’s nothing like when she gives me a quick rub.

I can see it in her eyes. Such primal lust. It honestly gets me excited. It’s not her normally controlled self. The way she pushes me against the wall, kissing and nipping at my exposed neck. It makes me all fuzzy inside and tense on the outside. She’d completely ravish me. Leave me a trembling mess... though, she quickly learned to not let me finish first. I could barely help her wrap it up afterwards that time. 

My limbs were like jelly. Those times are sooo much better. I can tell she wants me, and isn’t just tending to her kitty~ All the hugging and kissing. It’s euphoric when she decides to finish me first. I miss out on the edging, but I know that means she plans to cuddle while she gets herself hard and moist. I don’t know how she does it, but she hasn’t made me feel ashamed over my piss poor stamina.

... or my refractory period. How she adapts on the fly, I’ll never know. I’ve always been self-conscious about both of those. But she’s just been acting as if that’s normal. Despite the fact I know it’s not... at least what I’ve read. Not sure how much I can trust our textbooks. Still... two weeks? All alone again? I don’t want to go back... I inhaled deeply, doing my best to avoid crying. Crying leads to breaking down.

I closed my eyes and curled up, trying to ground myself. Listing off the furniture in the room from memory. I was broken out of my concentration after lord knows how long by a tender nudge. “You good?” her soothing voice helped reassure me. “Y-Yeah... I think so.” I replied genuinely. “If you need to hear my voice just send a text and I’ll call you when I’m free.” She said and patted me on the shoulder.

I smiled warmly. She didn’t even tell me to use it sparingly. I’ve never been good at being clingy though... so I guess that could be it. I mean: I want to. But my motor skills just... fail me whenever I try. I want to move my arms, touch her. But I just lock up... I still can’t forget the look she gave me when she swiftly raised her hand that one night... I almost wet myself. Thankfully  _ almost _ .

I could tell it in her eyes. Surprise, concern, anger. People don’t reflexively shield their weak spots and recoil when someone raises their hand. She held me tight that night until I fell asleep. Refused to finish me off. Not sure why. I hate going cold turkey. But falling asleep in her arms helped make up for it. The next day was the day I met my therapist. Not willingly but... it happened.

But I’m glad it did. Adora has never made a swift motion towards me since. And I’m slowly coming out of my shell. I’m still terrible at sex but... I’ve had it. I fidgeted, eyeing Adora as she was packing up various things. “When are you leaving?” I blurted out. “Tomorrow morning.” She shot back. She froze for a second. “You know you’re on my list, right? Phone wise?” she asked.

I slowly nodded. “First call will go muted, but just hang up and make a second call and it will patch you through.” She locked eyes with me. “Just remember: It’s for  **emergencies** . I’m only warning you once.” She added sternly. I nodded faster. “Call your therapist first, counsellor second,  **then** me, got it?” she clarified. I nodded even more enthusiastically. I wouldn’t disappoint her.

“Well, get ready for school. We’re heading off in half an hour.” She mentioned gaily. I eyed my pleasure tickets. Should I make sure to get off today? ... I don’t feel like it, but should I do it anyway? ... I’ll see how I feel tonight. Remember Catra: Temperance. I scrunched my nose in contemplation. Adora gave me a funny look. “Something that bothers you, sweet cheeks?” she teased.

“I... don’t know. It feels like I’ve forgotten something...” I responded, furrowing my brow. Something about this time of year. I’d just been so busy... not being miserable, that I haven’t been able to remember what... it’s not my birthday, I’d need to know when I was born for that. That crone never told me... best guess I have is my year group, and then potentially give or take a year.

“Well, if it was important, you’ll hopefully remember it halfway down to school, right after it becomes a chore to run back to get it.” She chimed playfully. I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, thanks.” I replied as the corners of my mouth curled upwards. She went back to packing as I rubbed my temple. Was it a test? My eyes wandered back to the night-stand and the slips of paper. Then over to Adora.

Was I... worried she’d cheat on me? Was that it? She has a pretty good libido. Who’d she fuck during the two weeks? Or would she just wank it? I squirmed at the thought. I... I don’t want to share. She’s  **my** rock. She can probably support multiple people but... She's mine! ... was that selfish? ... yes, clearly. But, was it  _ justified _ ? I bit my lip. Oh great, this is gonna be on my mind aaall day.

Trust. Trust has been the hardest of all. When she says she’ll be home at eight, at eight o two, I’m rocking in my seat. Should I tell her to not get laid? Is that within my rights? My place? Jealousy reared its ugly head as I pictured her soothing someone else. She yanked my collar as I stumbled. “What is it now mittens? I can’t pack if you keep letting your mind run wild.” She blepped at me.

“I-I... I don’t want you sleeping with anyone else!” I blurted out, my cheeks puffing up. She blinked, an impressed grin now adorned her features. “Ooh~ And what are  **you** going to do about it?” she replied snidely, booping my nose. My world crumbled. Everything went dark. Cold. Time stopped existing. Pain. There was pain. My eyes shot open as I gasped for air, my vision unfocused.

“CATRA!” Her voice rang clearly. Had she been shouting? As my senses returned, I registered I was cradled in her arms on the floor, my cheek burned in a familiar ache... she had... slapped me. I squeezed the tears out of my eyes with a hard blink, lasting several seconds. Had I... fainted? She shook me, forcing my vision to focus on her. I let out a soft mewl, folding my ears in shame.

I’m pathetic... my body just gave up. “Are you okay?” I averted my gaze, curling up. She gripped my jaw, forcing me to look her in the eyes. “I said: Are. You. Okay?” she reiterated. She didn’t sound angry. But I didn’t want to... I closed my eyes and coiled my tail around my legs. I was lifted from the floor as she hoisted me up. The soft embrace of our bed enveloped me, the pain a dull memory.

“Do I need to call us in sick?” She whispered softly. I bared my teeth. She’d be disappointed in me if we did... all because I can’t act like a fucking adult! I shook briefly before I calmed down enough to breathe. I don’t want to go to school. I want her to hold me. But, she’d be doing so resentfully. And I’m pretty sure that would be worse. I finally managed to shake my head in response.

She cupped just around my kitkat, resting her hand near it. “Do you need...” She asked, the implication more than enough. “No...” I croaked. It was dead down there. She’d be trying to wrestle a limp rag if she tried... lord knows she’d succeed but: That’s not a pleasant experience. “Jus... just...” I trailed off into a sniffle. “You  **are** a good girl~” she murmured reassuringly. I wanted to push the issue. 

But apparently my frail ass can’t handle it. I’ll try after school. If I’m gonna pass out like the runt of the litter, I might as well do it at home, with nothing relevant left of the day. I forced myself upright, going to wipe my eyes, but she beat me to it. “Sorry...” I hiccuped. “There’s nothing to apologize for~” she whispered softly. “I miscalculated, I thought you were ready.” She added, brushing through my mane.

I managed to let out a purr. I’m not sure I could look her in the eyes right now. That was embarrassing. How the heck did that cause me to faint? How long was I out? I glanced towards the clock. Oh. Less than a minute it seems. Still. I shifted and sat up fully, staring out the window. I had enough time to cool off for a few minutes, then try to psyche myself up for school. Man, my day kinda crashed.

Two weeks... I can’t be alone again. Do I need to make friends? I took another deep breath and broke away from her fully. “I don’t want to be alone...” I mumbled. “Well, I can’t force you to make friends with anyone. But I could introduce you to some people.” She offered. Adora’s friends... or at least contacts. I’ve never met them. Granted, this has been by my own choice. She has offered before.

Huh... maybe I shouldn’t worry too much? She spends all day in school with other teens... and the only school rumours are that she’s banging me. It’s probably meant to be a jab at me but... I honestly find it flattering. Still, that’s an environment where she has access to me. Now, she’ll spend two weeks surrounded by fit, sweaty girls... I bit my lip, swooning briefly. I felt light headed.

Adora hadn’t caught me. I glanced over my shoulder. She was rummaging through her bags, tossing her own glance towards me, giving me a smile and wave. I smiled back. I wasn’t her current focus, but she kept an eye on me. That calmed me down. Hm... meeting new people. I’m not a fan. I had to force myself to even see my psychiatrist... or whatever now therapists are educated in.

Like, will I keep seeing these people after she returns? Ugh, why did things become so complicated all of a sudden? Whenever my life is about to improve, I get hit square in the face by a curve ball. I don’t want to have to open up to anyone new. “I’ll think about it...” I mentioned. “Hm?” she retorted. “Meeting your friends.” I clarified. “Ah, sure.” She hesitated. Then zipped her bag and stood up.

“Look... I know this is sudden, but I can’t pass this up. I’d lose my scholarship, this place... kinda everything.” She explained with an apologetic face. “I know... just...” I inhaled through my teeth. “I’m just scared...” I mewled. “That I’ll cheat on you?” she asked with furrowed brows. A lump stuck in my throat as I averted my eyes. “I dunno... maybe? ... I just don’t want to be alone again...” I croaked.

Adora stroked her chin. “Well, maybe you need some side-tail while I’m gone?” she offered bluntly. My cheeks lit up like the new years skies as my jaw hit the floor. Was... was she asking me to  **cheat** ? I stared in disbelief at her. “I-I won’t cheat on you!” I blurted out. She shot me a cheeky smirk. “Tsk, tsk. Mittens: If  **I’m** giving you permission, it’s not cheating~” she purred. 

“I...” I trailed off. Could I get close to someone else? Love them? ... was this even love? I scrunched my nose and flicked my ears. I mean... she gave me a handjob in a public shower, and I latched onto her and haven’t let go since... would I do that to anyone? Oh, wow... my whole world just got a LOT more stressful. Do I even love Adora? ... I DO want to be close to her, hold her...

“What’s with the sour face kitty?” She asked, frowning. “I think... I think I just broke my brain.” I muttered. “What do you mean?” she questioned. “I... I don’t know if I love you... or if you love me...” my voice became strained. She walked over slowly and sat next to me. “What makes you say that?” she inquired, rubbing my back. Somehow, I contained my tears. I exhaled shakily.

“Well... the thought of losing you terrifies me. But, at the same time: I just realized that our entire relationship is based on that you gave me physical contact. You listened to me... what if I just latched onto the first person to give me a smidge of attention?” I pointed out, my voice cracked. W-What if that happens again? I’m not ready to go through something like that again...” I hiccuped. 

I stared at her pleadingly. She waited for a few seconds, making sure I was finished. “Well, I can assure you: I  **do** love you. Yes, it was kinda cheesy ‘love at first sight’. But do know I care about you. Neither of us express ‘love’ in the conventional manner.” She said and rubbed my shoulder. She shot me a smile. “I mean heck: It took me a while to realize that you’re not horny as fuck.” She chuckled.

My ears folded as my cheeks grew flush. “You just want me to hold you, don’t you?” she asked. I shrunk back a little. “K-Kinda... I  **did** want the sex though.” I retorted. “Yes, but not  **for** the sex.” She countered. “You didn’t have a raging kitty boner.” She teased. “You asked for sex, despite the fact that you were flaccid at the time. I had to make you lubricated each time you wanted it.” She spoke softly.

“And well... we’ve had sex when you  **were** in a mood. And it’s quite the difference.” She pointed out. “Not to mention: You know fully well how I am when I want a fuck~” she added with a grin. That I did... It was extremely arousing. The way she looked at me... She gave me a nudge. I re-focused on her. “But, I  **can** see your concerns... I can’t fully understand them, since I’m not you.” She said softly.

“But I’ll try my best to understand it, if you’ll let me.” She added. “... what does love feel like?” I blurted out. She did a double take, then stared at me in confusion. “Like... what is it supposed to feel like? Do I want to get held by you... or just anyone?” I squirmed in place. She shrugged. “I don’t know. All I know for certain is that I enjoy spending time with you. I delight in making you happy. ‘Romance’ has never been my strong suit.” She smiled and cupped my chin. “Look, I can tell this is going to take all day. I’ll just arrange for our sick leave, okay?” she proclaimed.

I nodded numbly. “Sorry...” I mewled. She hugged me tight, caressing my head. “Sch... it’s okay. There was nothing relevant in school today anyhow.” She said reassuringly. “This is more important to figure out.” She added, running her hand down my mane. She fiddled with her phone while hugging me. “There we go.” She noted, putting her phone over at the night-stand.

She all but yanked me into her grasp, rolling us into bed with me atop her chest. “So, Catra: What has your worried?” she asked while grooming me. I took a deep breath. “Well, especially now after knowing how erratic our ‘love’ is: It’s that we’ll drift apart.” I explained. “It’s only two weeks though...” She retorted. “Yeah, and that’s more than enough time it took for us to move in together.” I countered.

She paused, wiggling her feet. “Okay, fair. In hindsight, I moved a bit fast perhaps. But, you seemed like you needed it.” She admitted. “Well... I did... I really did.” I confessed. My life was just a confusing slough, each day was a pain to get out of bed.” I added. “You were like my knight in shining armour... except you were naked... and jerked me off... out of pity...” I blushed deeply as my ears tucked.

“Concern and empathy.” She stated. Huh? I glanced back at her, confused. “I didn’t do that out of pity. While yes: I saw the desperation in your eyes. I didn’t do it out of pity.” She pointed out. “It kinda just... clicked for me. I  **wanted** to help you. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but... I have a type~” she said with a grin. “You checked all of the boxes in that exact moment you grabbed my arm~” she chimed.

“Cute...” She scrunched her nose. “You know what? I won’t list your qualities, you might try to overcompensate.” She declared. What? That’s bulls-... okay yes, yes I would... I didn’t even have to look behind me. I knew exactly what face she was making. “I know it’s weird to say, but: The second after I made you cum, as I sat with you in my embrace I realized what I’d been missing in my life~” she sighed wistfully.

I quirked a brow. “That can’t have been your first time!” I exclaimed. She ruffled my hair. “It wasn’t. But as said: Before it had just been as a tease. It hadn’t been anything serious. You’ve been the first to ‘need’ it, if that makes any sense.” She explained. “So... if I would have had a similar reaction if you’d given me a wedgie...?” I asked hesitantly. She stroked her chin thoughtfully.

“I mean... I’d primarily have been a bit surprised. Since well, that’s not as directly sexual... but it is a pretty funny mental image.” She shot me a blep. “You’d for sure have an embarrassing nickname in school if that happened.” she added with a wink. My tail made a sudden swipe.”Do I make you feel good?” I piped up. She stared at me for a few seconds. “Yes?” she replied with a perplexed expression

“I mean... in, you know...” I lifted up my fingers, making poor attempts at lewd hand gestures. She let out a gigglesnort. “I’m terrible at sex...” I admitted with flushed cheeks. “True.” she affirmed. I stopped mid-breath. My heart sank. “But, I don't care about that. It's the passion and determination you put into it that gets me going.” she confidently added before I had time to panic again. 

She grabbed my shoulders and gingerly spun me around to face her. Her bare biceps glistening in the sunlight as she effortlessly held me suspended mid-air. “There’s no shame in admitting your... lacking sexual expertise.” She said affectionately. “But you can only learn by doing. No-one is just born amazing at sex.” She furrowed her brows. “Disregard that last part, it sounded less creepy in my head.” She smiled sheepishly.

“But, my point being: This takes time. Trial and error. There’s a reason I instruct you on how to go down on me. Same for when I force you to cough up how you want to be treated~” she cooed. Oh... that makes a lot more sense now... “I just... I just thought you were being the top...” I murmured, lowering my ears in embarrassment. “Well, that too~” she said with a grin and winked.

“It’s doing more than leading you know~” she caressed my cheek. “I can’t just crack an egg and call it a day. I need to make sure you feel content and safe as well. Or I’d be a pretty shit top.” She flicked her bangs. “I’m not the most knowledgeable though, but I try my best.” She noted. I tilted my head in confusion. “Egg?” I asked. She chortled. “You know? Instead of ‘bust a nut’?” she mused.

The cogs turned in my head. “Well, okay, but like... that’s not how...” I trailed off. She gigglesnorted. “Cut me some slack, it’s not as easy to come up with cheesy lines for girls.” She ruffled my hair. I felt a bit better. Her bad jokes were kinda soothing. I shook my head in amusement. “You know... we could probably still make it to school.” I offered. “Yeah, well. I’ve already called us in sick...” She retorted.

“Besides: I’m not sure how much use either of us would be in school today.” She noted. “Plus: This way, we get to spend as much time together as possible before I have to leave.” She pointed out. “So: Let's talk this out, and make sure I can leave with you being in as sound a state of mind as possible~” she chimed. I flicked one of my ears. “So... you’re polyamorous?” I inquired.

She nodded. “To what I know. I’ve always felt like I have more than enough love to split between two or maybe three people.” She admitted. “I haven’t tested it though... so, it will be a risk. And, I wouldn’t do it without all parts involved consenting. But, it’s something I’d be open too~” she added while shooting me a mlem. “Plus: Since I’ll have more events like these... it might be good for you.” She stated.

“Depends how your therapy goes, but: Going with what I know right now? You could need someone to hold you. Be it platonic, or for ‘stress relief’, so to speak~” she brushed through her hair. “While I appreciate the offer, I can’t accept... at least not for now. I’ll need to think about this... I can’t just... pick someone in just a day. This isn’t Glimdr!” I huffed and crossed my arms.

“I guess. I kinda just assumed you had easy to latch onto people. But it seems I was the special exception?” she hinted with a chuckle. “You know? I’m not even sure how I work half the time, so your guess is as good as mine.” I smiled and rubbed my forehead. I fiddled with my fingers. “So... are we going to fuck, or?” I asked anxiously. She flared her nostrils in amusement, shooting me a look.

“I-I mean... if we’re gonna be home all day...” I murmured. “It depends: Do you want to have sex? Or do you just feel like you’re supposed to?” she brought up. I curled my tail up, contemplating the matter. I wasn’t horny. I mean, outside of estrus, I was truly never ‘horny’. It’s more like... the difference between being hungry, or simply craving a snack... or being fucking starving if the cramps go real bad...

Geez ‘mom’ was fucking useless during puberty. Telling me to shut up and ‘figure it out’. She almost brought me to the ER from the blood loss... almost. Apparently I passed out from the lacerations. On the bright side: My body went into survival mode and didn’t pester me for a few days while I recovered.  **And** I figured out to use gloves after that... I wonder if she patched me up because she cared...

Or because it was easier than explaining a dead kid. I can’t to this day figure out why she even adopted me. It wasn’t for the money, she’s fucking loaded. I doubt I’ll ever know. Adora gently ran her thumb below my left eye. “What are you thinking about?” she asked. I glanced up and raised a brow in a daze. “You’re crying again.” she softly offered. “N-Nothing... just my childhood.” I mumbled through grit teeth.

She pulled me into a hug. My arms trembled. I still couldn’t muster the strength to return the hug. “Whenever you are ready to talk about it...” She whispered. I leaned into her, getting as close as possible. In her grasp, I never got that chill down my spine. That uncomfortable cold spreading around my back. I used to be so cold inside... I couldn't get warm. Blankets did nothing.

It was my insides that were cold. I just felt empty. But that day she held me: Instant warmth. Like the hug mother never gave me. It’s never as bad any more. But it still flares up every now and then. Just a jab in the abdomen, sometimes the chest...  **did** I want sex today? I frowned. I’d get warmth, closeness, the few seconds of contractions before the minutes of tranquillity as I bask in the afterglow...

Mostly because she’s caressing me the entire time. Huh... yeah. I’m not after the sex. Sure, I enjoy the pleasure. But I just want that comfort, and the hormone induced happiness. And if it doesn’t work... I just want to try again as soon as my body recovers. Yeah, wow. Introspection is freaky. Guess this is why most don’t do it... or leave it to a professional. Mine is pretty good but... still weird.

Not sure if all therapists are weird, but mine sure is. Then again: I think everyone is weird. What is ‘normal’ anyhow? But man... it’s weird my body just wanted to go through the motion of the endorphins... part of me must still have wanted it, right? “You sure are going through a lot.” Adora said with a smirk. She shifted and laid me down more properly. Wait, how long had she been holding me?

A slight throb emanated from my nethers. Well, at least I know what gets me hard... I shook my head to clear my mind. “Y-Yeah... I kinda just realized I have sex for the rush. But also just to be held.” I stated bluntly. “The rush of hormones?” She asked. I nodded. “I figured. It’s why I tried to tone it down.” She said. I tilted my head. “When you started to want to go twice despite cumming hard...” She drew the last part out.

“It told me all I needed to know that your brain didn’t ‘get enough’ from the endorphins, and was getting resistant... or well, I guesstimated. But I feel confident that was the cause.” She stated, then blushed. “I... I’ve been in that situation myself. I jilled like, a  **ridiculous** amount during my puberty.” She grinned sheepishly. “After a certain point, they weren’t doing enough for me.” She added.

“So, I quit for a few weeks, which was  **hard** . But after that; I came a lot better.” She cradled me gingerly. “Also the reason I don’t use vibrators. I want to keep my sensitivity. Sure, they can feel GREAT. But, it’s not worth going numb over.” She pointed out. Then got a devious grin. “I don’t mind whipping one out on special occasions though~” she said huskily, running a hand down to squeeze my rump.

My ears fell as I whimpered. “What’s with the face?” she asked curiously. “I don’t know my birthday...” I murmured. Her eyes reflected surprise, they then lit up. “Me neither!” she exclaimed. “I was just found as a baby. And no-one claimed me. And DNA tests came back with nothing. Apparently I have ‘inconclusive DNA’, whatever that means. They suspect I have some genetic mutation.” She chimed. 

“So, what’s your deal?” she asked, raising my chin. I grit my teeth, then exhaled. “My parents abandoned me. They didn’t want a girl...” I expressed shakily. Her face instantly fell. “Oh... I’m sorry...” She murmured. I wiped my eyes. “It’s fine...” I forced out. The act of what my parents did clearly wasn’t. But nothing can be done about it. I only wish someone... not shit had adopted me.

Wait... “If you use it on ‘special occasions’, but don’t know your birthday?” I asked. Adora perked back up. “Oh, you know: Midsummer, new years, Easter, the winter solstice. Stuff like that.” she piped. Oh... “Well, I guess that makes sense...” I murmured. I bit my lip. “I kinda want to have an orgasm, but I’m also feeling down right now. And I don’t really want to cum sad...” I said as I met her gaze. 

“Well, it’s your choice. But I’d call that progress.” She smiled sweetly at me. I narrowed my eyes. “Can I make you cum?” I offered. She was taken aback. Huh, interesting. She couldn’t expect that? She quickly shook off her stupor. “I mean... I’m not in a mood and am pretty dry over here but... that can be remedied.” She tonguesmirked at me. “We could do it sometime before the day is over.” She offered.

“Think you can get yourself ready until then?” she chimed. “Oh, there’s no need. I don’t plan to climax today.” I retorted. She stared at me in disbelief. “Huh... you sure?” she asked sceptically. “Yeah. I want to try it out. See how it feels like to do it selflessly.” I noted. “Well, sex is communication. It’s something you offer if your partner is willing. Giving and receiving is not set in stone.” She pointed out. 

“I personally try to keep a bit of balance. Though, in our case: I try to base it more on time, or it wouldn’t be very fair to you.” She ruffled my hair as she spoke. It still baffled me how she could casually bring up my premature orgasms, without offending me. She treats it like... if I had gluten intolerance or something. Just perfectly nonchalantly. My cheeks flushed. She makes me feel so accepted for who I am...

Only trying to make me improve in areas I can actually affect... unlike ‘mom’. Like, gee. I’m sorry for being born without ‘optimal’ genes, mom. And not having a knack for algebra! I huffed and huddled up against her. “You know if we stay in bed all day, we won’t be able to get to sleep tonight.” She noted. I grumbled. “Just... just an hour, okay?” I nuzzled against her and exhaled.

She ran a hand down my stomach, rubbing my abdomen as I began to purr. With a single, swift motion. She slipped her hand down my panties. Causing my ears to shoot upright. She fondled my mons briefly before pulling her hand back out. My cheeks were beet red. “Well, look at you kitty, resting state and all~” she chimed. Not for long if she kept that up! I swayed my tail and inhaled. 

“I told you...” I murmured as I squirmed in her grasp. “Just checking mittens~” she cooed. “It wouldn’t have been the first time you downplay something to ‘not be a bother’.” She pointed out. I folded my ears. She was right, again. It was frustrating. Though, I kinda only have myself to blame for that... or well, it’s ‘moms’ fault for being a shit parent. I do keep falling back to it though.

I furrowed my brow. I wonder where the ‘limit’ goes? On when is a good time to resist an urge, and when to go for it? I guess it’s like with snacks? Trying to figure out if you actually want them, or if you’re just comfort eating? I stared at the roof. I’d been having a lot of comfort sex, hadn’t I? Man, having to think about the reasons behind your actions made everything so much more complicated...

*


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Decided to split this up. So it's not as much of a behemoth to read.)

I put my plate down as Adora shook her head and rolled her eyes at me. What was so funny about licking my plate clean anyhow? It’s less to wash since there’s no food scraps left.  **And** it wastes less food. I stared intently at Adora as she scraped up the last of her food with her cutlery. That was so much less efficient... “You know you can’t do that in public, right?” she asked teasingly. 

I shot her a smirk. “ _ Can’t  _ and  _ shouldn’t  _ are different things.” I chimed. She snickered. “Clever girl~” she said cheekily. “It’s funny how you say you dislike food, yet do this.” She teased. “Just because I dislike something, doesn’t mean I have to be wasteful.” I retorted. “Fair enough~” she replied. She eyed me over, licking her lips. “You ready for some... ‘desert’?” she asked coyly.

I knew her enough to know what that look was for. “You... got aroused from eating?” I asked sceptically. “Not eating, watching you work your mouth~” she purred. I blepped playfully at her. “Really want the forbidden fruit, huh?” I chirped. “I’ll figure out some way you can lick me, just you wait~” she said with a grin. Unless I found one first. Licking downwards kinda worked, but it was unwieldy. 

Seriously, why does my tongue even have barbs? It feels like something leftover. Like the appendix. I fiddled with my fingers. “You wanna... go get comfortable while I do the dishes?” I offered. She perked up. “Sure. I’ll go make sure to heat it up to a nice temperature~” she replied as she got up from the table and headed towards the bed. I picked up the plates and went to the sink. 

In my peripheral vision, I picked up on her undressing as I turned the tap on. I’d gotten quite good at chores. It feels nice to be able to contribute. It’s the least I can do as she does all the cooking. I spritz the dishes, wash them off and finish up at a good pace. I grew more nervous the less dishes remained. Would I be able to stick to not being reciprocated? It would be my first time if I do.

I put the last plate away, a shiver ran down my spine. What if I get horny? Do I just accept defeat? I stiffly turned to face Adora. She laid splayed out on the bed, chin resting on her hand. My eyes zoned in on her delicates. She was indeed riled up. Swollen mons, darkened area. Nice and moist. I wanted to dive into that, drag my tongue deeply between her luscious folds... if only I could.

I licked my lips. “Um, would you like to... you know?” I imitated an explosion with my hands to the best of my ability. She shifted her weight, biting into one of her fingers thoughtfully. “Hm, nah. Not today. I’ve already packed down the towels, and it takes a lot out of me.” She stated, smiling. I huffed with a frown. “I could have caught it...” I murmured. She shot me a sultry glance.

“Oh really now? That’s what you said the last three attempts~” she teased. My cheeks flushed deeply. “C-C’mon! I wasn’t ready for it those other times!” I huffed. “Kinda my point mittens, it goes a bit everywhere.” She said with a wink. “Thanks for the offer though.” She added and blew me a kiss. Aw... she makes an adorable face when she squirts. It’s the only way I can get her to be as trembling as me after an orgasm.

I love how she hugs me afterwards. It’s so much more intense. Well, I still love to make her feel good. It just doesn’t feel like I’m making her cum as hard as she makes me. My limbs all turn to limp noodles. I guess that could just be me though. Girls in porn never do that. Granted, porn is a bad reference. But it's my only example aside from Adora... and myself. But I’m a terrible example. 

I took a deep breath, inhaling her musk, arousal and overall scents. I found it interesting how her ejaculate smelled different from her regular lubricant. I thought it was the same thing. So why does it smell the way it does? She patted her pubis, beckoning me over. I snapped out of my self-induced trance. “Oh, uh, sorry. I was just curious why your ejaculate smells different.” I blurted out.

She tilted her head for a moment. “Well, it’s prostatic acid phosphatase. So it’s not the same chemical compound.” She explained, then fidgeted a bit. I blinked. “Uh... how do you know that?” I asked incredulously. Stuff like this wasn’t her forte. “Well, I learned how to squirt years ago. And I was curious, so I asked the science teacher. And she went on a tangent about it. It’s apparently the same gunk males ejaculate, minus the sperm.” She mentioned. I furrowed my brows thoughtfully.

“Entrapta?” I asked. “Yeah, who else? She’s kinda cool for a professor, but a bit quirky though.” She chuckled. “Well, get a move on, I can’t keep this  **up** all day~” she added playfully. “R-Right!” I exclaimed. I knelt down in front of her, caressing her folds along my palms as I smile. No idea what these are for, but Adora enjoys it very much when I gently stroke them. They feel nice to the touch too.

I sighed wistfully. “Something wrong?” she asked softly. “I want to suck on them...” I pouted. She inhaled through her teeth and glanced to the side. I folded my ears. “Sorry...” I murmured. “Hey: What have we talked about? It’s  **not** your fault. You just get dealt a shit hand in life sometimes. I know it sucks but... the best we can do is try to adapt and overcome it.” She said as she sat up, caressing my cheek.

“I know, but: That doesn’t make me feel less shit that I can’t pleasure you properly.” I scowled. “It’s not about you being fine with it... I  **want** to do better!” I huffed. She raised a hand, then stopped herself and laid back down. I whimpered, then let go of her curtains. Why do I have to be a walking disaster? How can I love anyone else if I can’t even love myself? I grit my teeth and clenched my fists.

No. I’ve done enough moping around. Adora can accept me for who I am. And I’ll work tirelessly until I can do the same. Starting with being a better lover. Ugh, why is doing brain so difficult? I just want to be happy. I’m doing my best to crawl out of this pit, but why is it never enough? I flared my nostrils, then latched onto her stiff bead. She let out a gasp and flinched from the sudden contact. 

My lips curled upwards. Gotcha~ I began to bob my head, doing quick suckles on her family jewel. I gave a playful jab with the tip of my tongue, eliciting a soft moan from her. The urge to run my tongue along her flesh was strong. I wonder if a lickpatch would help? I still wouldn’t get to taste her nectar though... Heh, I wonder how common it is to be bummed out you can’t pleasure your partner enough? 

Bet most people only care about how much they get out of it. As, by all accounts: I should be fine with it. She goes out of her way to leave me a hot, satisfied mess. And she’s okay with my efforts. But I want to do more than just okay. I want to blow her away. Figuratively and literally. I used the tip of my tongue to prod around her hood, carefully avoiding scraping against her delicates.

I shifted and grasped hold of her folds. Milking her lips between my fingers and palms. She gasped and grabbed hold of my mane. There was a special kind of feeling of power to go down on someone. They are at your mercy, and it’s up to you to do it right. I smirked and picked up the pace, tilting my head as I suckled, trying to tug her clit out a few cm as I pulled back.

Slippery little bugger. She dug her fingers into my scalp, as she bit her lower lip. I tugged her labia further down, stretching her lips in amusement. It’s funny how stretchy these are... it's a bit hard to resist pawing at them with how they dangle. I ground my thumbs into the supple flesh tenderly, kneading into her as I took long suckles. She let out a shaky breath, digging further into my scalp.

Ooh~ You like that, don't-cha? She’s such a tough cookie. I can pretty much throw anything at her, and she just grinds against me harder... bar my barbs. She doesn’t like those. At all. Granted, I don’t like them... I wonder if anyone likes them? I shrugged and went back to bobbing, rolling her lips between my palms. Heh, it’s like rolling dough. Wonder how it would feel like to have these?

She moved to caress my ears. “C-Catra...” She groaned. My heart fluttered. Omigosh! She used my name! I squeed and picked up my pace. I must be doing good. Her breathing picked up as she grit her teeth. Her thighs encroached around me, excitement abound. She let out a hiss, yanking me close as she locked her legs around me as her back arched. My entire head shook with her contraction.

She bucked her hips with each one. This would have been a delicious mess if she’d been willing to blow a load... I hate to shower it out, but during those few seconds... I pressed my tongue against her pearl, purring deeply as she trembled against me. I could feel her struggle to not squeeze me too hard. It was a little thrilling. She could barely contain herself due to my work. My ears perked up proudly.

She exhaled and flopped backwards onto the bed, pulling away from me wetly. I watched as she shivered, exhaling in delight. My tail was wagging slowly, smugly. “Atta girl~” she cooed. I crawled up and laid atop her, purring. She embraced me, hugging me tight. “Thank you~” she murmured into my ear. I nuzzled up to her, enjoying her warmth and affection. She brushed through my mane.

I had a slight urge to ask her to roll over and pin me down. But for now: I relished in how accomplished I felt. I was at peace having satisfied her. I was finally the one left hanging... kinda weird thing to be proud of but... it had always been her that finished me off, then left it at that. It felt nice, but I much rather have it with mutual orgasms. Though, a little every now and then wouldn’t hurt.

She burrowed her face into my hair, inhaling deeply. A pleasant prickling sensation ran down my back. “You good?” she whispered. I tried to hug her back, but failed. I did however manage to carefully squeeze one of her breasts. I was close to bursting with joy. “Yeah... I’m good. This feels... peculiar though...” I murmured. “Giving, then not receiving?” she asked, patting my back.

“Yeah, like: As long as I’ve known sex. It’s sole purpose has been to make  **me** cum. Nothing else. I just recently had it include someone else. And now... I’ve accepted that it’s not all about me.” I stated and shifted a bit as to have direct eye contact with her. She cracked a smile, still coming off her peak. “I’d offer you a little ‘something’ for that revelation, but that would be counter-productive.” She giggled.

I blepped playfully at her. “How about I save that for later?” I purred. She grinned and nodded. “You really went all in for that one~” she chimed. “Well, I wanted to leave a good impression for your trip. So you know what to come back too!” I replied huskily. “If you can last the two weeks, I can assure you I’ll have you cum hard enough to go limp~” she whispered, licking her lips seductively.

I flushed and glanced to the side. “You already do that though...” I murmured. She lowered her eyelids and grinned mischievously. “Oh, only what you  **think** ~” she practically breathed into my ear. “You. Me. Edging, thirty minutes and two orgasms.” she licked along the brim of my ear as she finished. My cheeks flared into a new shade of scarlet. T-There’s  **no way** she can make me last that long!

_... is there?  _

*


	3. Chapter 3

I rolled over, letting out a content meow as I moved to spoon my favourite blonde. But I didn’t find anything next to me. My head shot up as I sleepily perked my ears up. A light panic settled in before I finally spotted Adora. As my vision focused, I saw her with a toothbrush in her mouth, setting up her hair by the mirror. I relaxed back into bed, the worry in my abdomen having calmed down.

Yesterday had gone great. Sooo much cuddling, grooming, talking and overall bonding. Her promise to fuck me silly when she returned was freshly imprinted on my mind. I had stayed the entire day without breaking my promise to myself though... in hindsight, maybe that was a dumb date to do that on... considering she is leaving for two weeks? Probably should have fucked each other exhausted.

Then again... she wanted to be ready for the tip... so maybe just a couple of rounds? Man, I kinda blew my chances here. I could have tried being a service bottom... top? Eh; whichever, some other day. I was really stressed out yesterday though. It’s frightening how easily my world could apparently be toppled over. Then again, my life was pretty much a dumpster fire, so; shouldn’t take all that much...

I glanced towards the clock. My eyes widened. That much already? How could I sleep in after after all that relaxing yesterday? Adora was moving everything next to the door, adjusted her ponytail, then walked over and sat by the edge of the bed. “I’m really proud of your progress so far mittens~” she chimed. “I’ll make some time to message or video chat daily in case you need it.” She added.

If I need it huh? “Well, hearing your voice is comforting. But, who knows? I might can make it a day or two without checking up on you.” I replied, trying to steel myself. I don’t want to be alone, but I also can’t cling to Adora every waking moment. Two weeks is a bit of a stress run, but I’ll have to make do. She gave me the contact info of some of her... ‘friends’ over at the school.

I need to make some of those to be honest. Having a friend group will be needed for me. I can’t claw my way out of this alone. And Adora can’t be my only support. She has a life after all... unlike me. Rather: It’s not yet worthy to be called one. I moved from one shadow to another. But, instead of a cold, unforgiving one. This provides shade and comfort. Like a protective cloak of shadows.

She put a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll trust you got it covered? Going to school on your own? Food and all that?” she asked. I nodded at her. “You have some food for today and tomorrow in the fridge, and a few extra days in the freezer if you need. But you’re gonna have to fend for yourself for at least half the time.” She added with a playful nudge. “But, you’re more enjoyable to eat...” I huffed.

I flushed deeply. “I-I mean your food!” I squeaked. She smirked teasingly at me. “I know you’re not a culinary fan, but: You need to be able to take care of yourself.” She stated. Her face fell for a moment. “Life is cruel and unforgiving, if it has the chance. If you become entirely dependent on someone... they can be gone the next moment. And what then?” she murmured with a sombre demeanour. 

I lowered my ears. I’d thought a lot about death... and I knew she was right... There’s no way I could handle her departing from the mortal coil in my current state but... yeah. I can’t rely on anyone. She pulled me into a hug, rocking me. “You can let me pamper you however much you want, long as you do a chore in return. But first: You need to become self-sufficient.” She whispered.

I mewled. “Where’d you get this from anyhow?” I muttered. She chuckled sheepishly. “Well... I was reading on Vikings in my history class. And they had a mentality that really intrigued me: Whether boy or girl, until you could take care of yourself in all aspects, you were not considered an adult. Since if you were dependent on someone else: you were deemed as a child.” She explained.

“This included cooking, cleaning, mending your clothes, defending yourself and all that. But: Once you  **could** do all of those, you were free to delegate one or several of these to someone else. As then you have proven that you  **can** do it. And... I dunno, it just really spoke to me.” She smiled. “I am not quite there myself. But I REALLY like it.” She mentioned as she flashed her teeth.

“It’s empowering to me. As I  **choose** to do something.” She stated and pulled herself back up. She dragged me up with her. “Like: I can sow. But I find it boring. So when my pants tore the other month, I  **choose** to delegate it to someone else. That was no longer my  _ only  _ choice. I get to decide what I do. I have options. I don’t feel helpless any more. Even if I’m bad at something.” She said and flicked her bangs.

The sheer amount of sex appeal she emanated right now... such big clit energy. “Back when I was a kid, I would have a doll break. And I was just lost. Since there was nothing I could do. But now: I’ve learned how to fix it. And many other things. Even if I know it would look terrible, or barely work. The fact that I  **could,** is what keeps me calm.” She finished and patted me reassuringly on the lap.

“I mean, obviously there’s places I draw the line. I won’t figure out how to fix my phone. But I WILL figure out how to like, replace the battery. Simpler stuff. Like: If I get a car, I’ll learn how to change tires, oil all that. Needing help is okay. But I do believe in needing a bit of ‘basic life skills’ to a degree.” She added with a tonguesmirk. She leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my lips.

“For example: I love cooking. I find washing up to be dreary. But, you don’t seem to mind.” She noted and booped my nose. I shrugged. “It shows me a very clear goal, and it's easy to tell how long I have left.” I replied. “Yeah. Hence: We can both contribute. But say, just for example: I for some reason can’t do dishes. What if you left me for a week? Would dishes pile up? Would I have to hire a maid?” she teased.

“Point being: It’s a big comfort for me to know it’s all my choices. I wasn’t  _ forced _ to do this or that. Or left without any other option. It was something I decided was the best course of action.” She said and exhaled. My ears perked up. “I actually know about that... ‘the illusion of choice’ I think it’s called.” I piped up. She blinked at me, then smiled widely, ruffling my mane. 

“I actually haven’t heard of that, so good job kitty~” she lavished me with praise. A fuzzy feeling welled up within me. Man... I was feeling really frisky all of a sudden. I know her bus is going to be here soon but... maybe she had time for a quickie? I shook the thought out of my mind for now. “Oh? Well, in short: It’s when you  **think** you’ve been given a choice, while in reality: There is none.” I started to explain.

“For example: If you have a crossing in a hallway and you are fleeing from something: If the path ahead is collapsed, you can’t go there. And you don’t have the time to clear it out. And the path to the left is on fire. Behind you is where you came from. And to the right, the path is dark, but is traversable. In your mind, you ‘pick’ the right path, thinking you made a decision.” I cleared my throat. 

“But, in reality: That  **was** the only choice you could have made. Or well, the only realistic choice. There’s better examples. But, yeah. A lot can just be ‘fake’ choices. Like the classic ‘give me your money, or I’ll shoot!’ false dichotomy. Since, the robber will get your money in both cases. One of them just leaves you shot... most likely. Hypothetically.” I blushed and rubbed the back of my head.

Omigosh, I was sharing! While something kinda dumb, it feels really good to be part of something. I was teaching her for once... not sure where this was going but... Adora’s phone suddenly quacked. I have no idea what’s up with that alarm. “Oh, look at the time. They’re here to pick me up in ten minutes.” She chimed. She pulled me up with her, and placed me in front of the mirror.

“You look glowing.” She purred. I watched my reflection. My mane was dishevelled, bags under my eyes, old scars from... old scars adorned my skin. I looked like a mess. But, I was smiling. I leaned against her and she hugged me tight. I may be a mess, but I was a happy mess. Hopeful at least. I inhaled sharply as there was a twinge in my minge. Adora furrowed her brow. “Something the matter?” she asked worriedly.

“I... I dunno. Just had a sudden ouch in my crotch. Is it since I didn’t get any yesterday?” I pondered. Adora shrugged. “I dunno? Sounds like period pain maybe?” she offered. I rolled my eyes in amusement. “That’s a human thing, I have estrus yanno~” I counted with a blep. “Oh yeah. You mentioned that. We need to talk about that once I get back, so I’m prepared for it.” She noted. 

I flicked one of my ears, smirking at her. “Sure, we should prepare to stave off the emergency.” I teased. She scoffed. “I doubt you’ll turn  **that** bad.” She ruffled my hair. “You’d have to try hard to be higher maintenance~” she chuckled. I have been around long enough to experience her having menstrual cramps. While I feel bad for thinking about it, but... I enjoyed when she had them. Since I got to comfort her.

It was the first time I’ve ever seen her cry. I’d still say it’s not  **as** bad as my heat. But, it happens A LOT more. Plus, mine only hurts if I don’t crack an egg... great, now I’m saying it too... anyhow: It usually goes numb after I get the endorphins. Hers just... keep going. Sometimes she wanted sex, other times under no circumstances. I’ve learnt about human periods in biology, but they were still weird to me.

Like, they’re kinda useless. Would make more sense if like, having sex triggered ovulation. Or getting splodged in. Just passively bleeding feels kinda dumb. “What are you thinking about?” she mused. “Uh, you remember our talk about somnophilia?” I asked awkwardly. “You mean how it’s technically non-consensual? Regardless if you give permission or not?” she asked sceptically.

“Y-Yeah... about that...” I grinned sheepishly. She furrowed her brows sterns. “I-It’s not like that!” I quickly exclaimed, then cleared my throat. “During heat, I might wind up aggressive. And I genuinely won’t calm down unless I cum, hurt myself or I tire myself out...” I murmured. She eyed me over. “So um... while we’ll go over everything when you get back...” I fidgeted.

“Could I ask you in advance to promise to force me down and... ‘take care of it’?” I squeaked. She tensed up. “I know it’s a lot to ask but... it  **really** hurts, and I can’t think clearly... it doesn’t happen often, that type of side effect but... if it does...” I whispered. “I can’t promise that.” She stated” My ears folded. “I’ll have to have ‘the talk’ with you, and mull over it fully.” She replied. 

“I can’t make an informed decision about that right now. Especially since you know how I feel about... ‘that’.” She concluded. I mewled and lowered my ears. It was fair. I just hate when I go into that ‘frenzy’. I’ve only had the option of letting it run its course or hurt myself... or been hurt... masturbation isn’t an option in that state. Heck, I can barely form a coherent thought during it.

“I understand.” I stated simply. I don’t know if it would even work if she forced me to climax. I just know I trust her enough to try. If it can stop the agony, it’s worth a shot. But, that’s neither here nor there. She checked her phone. “Five minutes left, I better get ready to head down.” She pointed out. She shot me a playful sneer. “Well, you’ve given me a tough mental nut to crack for my trip.” She snickered.

She hoisted the final bag up, her muscles rippled as I instantly became more awake. Where had my mind been? She placed it by the door and slipped her shoes on. I snuck up behind her, placing a shaky hand on her shoulder. “S-So hey... a bit sudden but...” I trailed off as she turned to face me. “But um, think you could give me a quick...” I jerked off the air in front of me with a hopeful grin. My groin pounding.

She gigglesnorted and shook her head. “If I do this before I leave, that’s all you're gonna think about. Plus: It’d have to be a rush job, and I want to give you better. Sorry mittens~” She planted a kiss on my nose and winked at me before heading out the door. I stood there, utterly flabbergasted. I reached out to her, but no air escaped my lungs. Having kept me in her peripheral vision, she stopped.

She turned around and looked at me almost expectantly... but something else. After I collected myself, I hesitantly walked up to her, my arms trembling. After several seconds of strained breathing, I embraced her in a hug. A wave of relief washed over me. She hugged me back. I wanted to hold her for hours. I had finally done it. I was getting better at initiating physical contact. I didn’t want to let go.

But... she has to go. And it will be harder to stop the longer this goes on. I sighed deeply and pulled back. I gazed into her pools of blue, my lip and jaw trembling. She stood there patiently. Something was stuck in my throat. I frazzled my fur and leaned in, pecking her on... her chin. I pulled back and flushed beet red, my ears folded. She didn’t say a word, but instead grasped the back of my neck.

She pulled me in for a deep kiss, our lips connecting as my tail shot up. My eyelids fluttered. A soothing warmth spread from my mouth into the rest of my body. She broke the kiss and ruffled my bangs. I stood there in a daze as she leaned in and whispered the three sweetest words in the world into my ear. Sending shivers down my spine before she shut the door behind her. My eyelid twitched slightly.

Was it okay for my clit to be this erect? I’m pretty sure it can only get so erect... should I even be that? Goosebumps ran down my back. I stumbled towards my couch, then changed direction last minute and collapsed back into bed, taking a deep whiff of her remnants. Her scent was strong... should I avoid sleeping in bed so I can smell her in the sheets? ... or would that be too creepy?

I gotta ween myself off that. Dread crept in on me as my chest tightened. It was difficult to breathe. She was really gone... for two weeks. I grit my teeth. I want to pour cold water on my crotch. I shouldn’t be lusting after her. I’m more than my libido... though I wish I could have felt her lips wrapped around my bead before she left. Ugh! How could I have been so calm yesterday, and now I’m all horny?

I groaned and flopped to the side. My phone buzzed. I shot upright, before remembering it was on the night-stand. I slumped back down and picked it up to see what Adora had sent. My cheeks were engulfed in flame as I stared at the picture. Oh, that’s... wow... When did she take this? I shook my head and snapped to attention. Oh, you ass Adora... I hissed quietly.

She can’t send me an extremely hot cunt pic that’s... VERY inviting and enticing right after what she just told me! My phone buzzed against as my eyes were forcefully torn off her juicy pair of lady meat. She sent me an emoji... oh that potato knows what she did! I took a deep breath. I can do this... I flared my nostrils in amusement. I pulled my pants down and snapped a pic and hit send.

I looked the pic over... not super good. You could tell I was engorged at least... wait, did I just send her a clit pic? ... my cheeks took on a new hue. “FUCK!” I exclaimed. I’m pretty sure she just got me! Dammit! The pressure in my torso lifted suddenly, and was replaced with... joy? Some excited flutter. I... I just took my first vulva pic. Was I allowed to be proud of that? I’d never dared to do that before.

I may not know her plans or goals for me, but I am okay with them so far. Another buzz. She sent me a really sweet selfie with her hair down. Aw... she looks Adorable... wait, fuck! Was that her, or me? I shook my head and exhaled. That must have been a coincidence. This was a really nice gesture from her. I’ve always wanted to see her with her hair down. And now she gives it to me in my time of need.

... time of need? Geez, I am sounding melodramatic. I fully flopped down, closing my eyes as I inhaled. I hugged her pillow, smelling deeper. I can do this... I can do this. After a few minutes, I scrolled my phone again. I noticed Adora had sent me a number along with the picture. “If you’re lonely, you could talk with my gal Glimmer, she’s been informed.” I mumbled. Glimmer... that’s the pinkette, right?

What did she even do? I haven’t seen her around much in school. I shrugged. Well, I’ll give it a few days. See where it goes. I curled up under the blanket. I could go up, start and early day or... faff about. I’m honestly not doing much so... might as well faff about. Being alone with my thoughts was risky, but it has to be done sooner or later. I’m strong enough to do this. She believes in me!

*


	4. Chapter 4

A sharp pain jolted me awake. Ow! What the? I was sweating. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten Adora’s dinner after leaving it out for five hours? I just kinda forgot and well... it would be a waste... I staggered towards the bathroom as my stomach churned, shaking my panties off. I plopped down on our throne and braced for impact... but no unpleasantries occurred. Huh... weird. What was with this abdominal pain then?

I didn’t even have to go... or well, might as well go number one while I’m here. Am I constipated though? Is that why it hurts? I finished my business while glancing towards the sink. I’m both ashamed and proud I’ve learned how to pee in those while standing. ‘Stop wasting water’. I could still hear her voice. It’s a miracle CPS wasn’t the ones to bust her ass. But hey: At least I’m prepared in case of a camping trip!

Truly an important life skill she 'taught' me... I doubt I’ll ever admit to Adora I can do this... would she even approve of it? She’s always encouraging me to... ‘be me’. But, is that me? I just know how to do it... I took a piece of paper, folded it, wiped. Got up, dabbed the faucet and wiped again. I tossed it in the toilet and washed my hands. As I dried on my tower, I tapped my foot in contemplation. 

Should I flush now? Or give it a few minutes? Just to be sure I didn’t have to go? I scrunched my nose, then hit the button. I walked out as the toilet flushed, my insides still revolting against me as a punishment for being alive. I froze in my tracks. Wait... sweating. My insides hurt, like they’re fighting each other. I feel like shit. Like I’m being tortured for everything I’ve ever done wrong.

Oh no-no-no! I rushed to the mirror, starting at my naked crotch. I tossed a swift glance towards the bathroom, my panties casually strung across the floor, a damp splotch across ‘that’ area. I slowly looked back at my junk... swollen, soaked and searing. Wait, what fucking date is it? I scrambled to my phone, swiping to the calender. Oh... fuck... It’s one of THOSE months! My pupils dilated.

How could I have let this happen? Was I really THAT lost in time with her? ... I suddenly craved marshmallows with mustard, wrapped in pancakes... yupp. It was happening. Seriously! I even joked about my heat with Adora just a few days ago! Shit, I need to get out... I can’t scratch up this place. If I call Adora right now, I cou- I cut myself off, slapping myself across the cheek. 

Keep it together! She can’t help me now... Glitter! I grabbed my phone and frantically typed the number, only stopping to look at the clock. 22:15? How long had I been out? I checked the date again. It was the same day. Had I passed out after dinner? I fidgeted. What if she gets mad? ... I have to take that chance. It’s only a matter of time before I get horny. This is only the silence before the storm.

I’m fully aroused, and I can’t even feel it. I hit call. One signal... two signals... thre- “Hello?” the voice called out anxiously. It wasn’t sleepy, just surprised. I opened my mouth to speak, but only a silent exhale rang out. What was I gonna say? “Anyone there?” she asked, her tone now suspicious. A mewl escaped my throat. A brief pause. “Catra?” she asked hesitantly. 

I nodded. Then realised I did another stupid. Why was I locked up? I began to breathe in a stressed manner. “Are you okay? Are you having some sort of episode?” she asked with concern. “Adora said she wasn’t sure how you’d handle it. Do you need me to come over? I’m not busy right now, and I can spare an hour.” She reaffirmed. I tried to speak, but it only sounded like I tried to pass a hairball.

“You know you could just have texted me if you’re too shy to talk?” she inquired with a sceptical tone. I punched myself in the chest, letting out a hack away from the speaker, taking two swift breaths. “Y-Yes...” I croaked. Geez, now I feel dumb... “So, is that a yes that you want me to come over, or?” she reiterated. “Yes...” I murmured. “Alright. If you’re anything like me: You’ll have an easier time face to face.” She noted.

“I’ll be over in like, ten minutes. You’re lucky I wasn't busy today.” She states in a friendly manner. “Well, see you shortly then.” She added. I meowed in response... I quickly disconnected. Ugh! What is with me today? I’m not thinking straight. The corners of my mouth curled upwards. Well... most of my thoughts are on Adora so... I gigglesnorted to myself and sighed wistfully.

... I better get dressed before Glitter shows up. I should probably be a bit more presentable for our first interaction. Don’t wanna come off as  **too** desperate. There was a gurgle from my midsection. Ugh... my body was preparing to fuck me over. The waiting was the worst... actually no, the heat was the worst. I put some clothes on, tidying up the place. There was a raising dread, and not from the estrus.

There was a knock on the door, making me jump. I shuffled in place before I walked over to the door. The lack of a peephole made me anxious. I cracked the door open a smidge. Large brown... or pinkish eyes peeked at me. It was hard to tell. Why are her pupils so sparkly? I opened the door, my body tensed up. “Hi Catra.” she chimed softly. I almost slammed the door behind her, locking it.

She let out an eep and turned around, eyeing me over. “Geez, Adora said you were jumpy, but this is a bit... a lot.” She noted. “It’s like someone is after you.” She said dismissively. A cold shiver ran down my spine. She thankfully didn’t notice and headed towards the couches. I shook off my fluster and walked over to her. I glanced between the couches. Where should I sit? 

I guess next to her? My social anxiety told me to stand where I was, but that wasn’t gonna get me anywhere. I sat next to her. She raised a brow but composed herself. “So... why did you call me? You miss Adora?” she asked gently. I scoffed. My eyes bulged. Wow that had been... a  **very** aggressive scoff. She smirked at me, clearly having noticed my reaction. “I’ll take that as a yes~” she mused. 

I huffed. “Of course I do!” I frowned. “So, what do you want to do? Talk about her?” she asked. “Listen Glitter-” I started as I was cut off. “Glimmer.” She said firmly. “Huh?” I blurted out. “It’s Glimmer, not ‘Glitter’.” She repeated. “Oh... Glimmer, sorry.” I murmured, getting off track. “It’s okay. If you become my friend, you can call me ‘Sparkles’ though~” she added with a smile.

I took time to process that, then shook my head, the pounding in my skull getting worse. “I uh... this actually isn’t about Adora...” I wheezed and swayed. Her expression shifted. “Are you sick? Could you not get yourself to the hospital? You should have the $10 for the admission fee to what I know.” She asked in rapid success. I wiped sweat from my brow, fighting the building urge to pounce on her.

Another day like this, and it would be an actual desire, not just a thought. Ugh, this is like the set up to a bad movie. I steadied myself. “No, it’s... not that.” I mumbled. I’d never had the walls to actually act on my needs. I got too scared and my flight reflex kicked in... or my fight when I got cornered. Only reason I didn’t get expelled for those events was apparently since it counts as sexual harassment to pick on someone in heat.

I didn’t even know that was a law... but, I got off with detention. So, that was nice. Otherwise I’d have nowhere to eat. A finger snap pulled me out of my trance. Glimmer glared at me with a tinge of annoyance. “O-Oh right... sorry...” I grinned sheepish. “So, I messed up really bad and...” As I explained, I could tell she was staring into me, judging me. Causing me to cold sweat even worse.

I hesitated. “I didn’t keep track of my estrus and well... it just started and I’m kinda screwed, figuratively.” I then blurted it out. I grinned awkwardly. Her demeanour shifted as she perked up. “Ooh! You’re one of the species that goes into a mating cycle?” she cheered. Her sudden enthusiasm startled me. I only slowly nodded. “I’ve read up on those. It was one of the extracurriculars I took.” She proclaimed proudly.

My eye twitched and an ear flicked as I stared at her. “Right, right. So: If the course was correct and up to date: You have similar symptoms to human ovulation? Mood swings? Cramps? Weird cravings? Irritability and all that?” she asked. I once again nodded. “But, unlike humans: You can also get like... REALLY horny. Painfully so?” she inquired. I clutched my stomach, hissing with another nod.

Her expression shifted as she shuffled in her seat. “So, uh... why did you call me over for that? Do you need emotional support? Do you need me to hold you?” she asked hesitantly. I eyed her over inquisitively. “I mean...sorta? Do you like... top or bottom? I’ve never really... lead anything...” I admitted shamefully and bashfully prodded my fingers together as I averted my gaze for a moment.

When I looked back, her eyes were huge. She suddenly snapped too. “Woah, woah, woah... I’m not  **that** type of friend!” she waved frantically. I raised my eyebrow in confusion. “Wha? But Adora so casually suggested I should get a side piece...?” I asked confused. She sputtered. “She asked me to look out for you, not hook up with you!” she exclaimed. “Oh...” I replied, hanging my head and ears.

“So... why did Adora give me your number?” I asked after a pregnant pause. Glimmer deadpanned. “I mean... pretty sure you need more than fucking.” She countered dryly. “She asked if I could do her a solid to repay her for what she did for me during summer camp. Just make sure you have someone to talk to, face to face. Offer some hugs, ensure you don’t freak out from lack of humanoid contact.” She noted.

My ears shot back up. “What happened during summer camp?” I asked. Her cheeks turned bright red faster than I’d seen mine do the same. “N-None of your business!” she squeaked. “A-Anyhow: I could offer you some help but... we’re not doing the horizontal tango~” she retorted with some spunk back in her step. “Can’t say I thought I’d be helping you get laid...” She added thoughtfully.

She glanced to the side, then leaned towards me “I um... DO know a place that might could help you. I uh... frequent the local massage parlours and glory holes once or twice a month to ‘detox’ from my mom. Which one depends on my mood... not sure either of those would be up your alley though. Since you’re not allowed to touch the other person.” She concluded with a tap on her chin.

I raised a brow at her “The fuck is a glory hole?” I asked. She smiled and shook her head at me. “Sweetie, if you don’t know what it is, you’re  **definitely** not ready for one.” She said as she patted my shoulder. I pouted at her. “And based on Adora’s instructions, I’m sceptical you’d be able to handle the pressure of one.” she added. Wait... Adora talked about me to her friends? ... not sure how to feel about that.

She reached into her... weird vest, and pulled out a contact card. “Try calling this place. It’s an escort service. They offer everything from a quick blow, to full out multi-orgasm session.” She explained. I stared at the card. “... why do you have these?” I asked sceptically. She smiled bashfully. “Let’s leave it as ‘side hustle’, okay?” she replied and rubbed the back of her head.

Not quite sure what that meant but... She wiggled her feet over the edge. “So... it’s closed for today, or well: In half an hour, but you can’t book anything.” She noted. Huh, that’s pretty late. Granted, it opens a bit late too. But, it makes sense... kinda when you have sex? Or at least when most people get off work or out of school. “Do you need me to sleep with you?” she asked.

My ears shot up eagerly as the corners of my cheeks curled upwards. She let out a groan and placed her palm against her forehead as she slowly dragged it down her face. “I meant literally...” She groaned. My cheeks flared up. “O-Oh, right...” I smiled sheepishly. I bit my lip and glanced around the room. “I.. dunno I can get... scratchy...” I murmured, eyeing the claw marks on my couch.

“Well, I could tie you up.” She offered. My fur stood on end. I’m sorry, what? I gave her a look. “What? You implied you’re worried you’d scratch me.” She retorted. “I don’t think I could sleep tied up...” I muttered. “You can take sleeping pills.” She casually interjected. My mane stood on high alert. “Excuse me?” I sputtered. “WHY do you have all these things?!” I exclaimed.

She cracked a grin. “Oh, you naive little kitty~” she chimed and got up and walked over to Adora’s night-stand. I got off the couch and followed. She opened the door and my eyes bulged as I did a double take. Leather cuffs, gags and... uh, I don’t even know anything outside of that... was that an asthma inhaler? She snickered at my reaction. “How do you know about this?” I murmur.

She asks me to help her ‘shop’. And before you ask: No, I haven't tried them... well, aside from the womanizer, it’s  **really** good, I can recommend it~” she sighed wistfully. “Adora kinda just likes to collect these things. I can’t say if she uses them or not... it seems to be more of a hobby.” She noted and shrugged. “Yeah but: Who collects sex toys and don’t use them?” I asked.

“I mean... people collect stamps, toys, figurines and a whole matter of things that aren’t ‘used’ you know?” she pointed out. I folded my ears and pondered. “You’re not wrong...” I replied, unable to think of a witty retort. “So, what do you say?” she asked. I hesitated. “I-I guess... I really don’t want to wake up alone while in heat...” I mumbled as I sat down in bed. She sat down next to me.

She gently touched my shoulder. “Does it hurt?” she asked softly. “VERY.” I whispered sharply. “It’s like your insides are trying to tear themselves out. And atop that: Your abdomen curls up like when you’re starving. Except instead of food, you crave the sweet release of an orgasm.” I muttered. “The first week, you can take care of it yourself but...” I trailed off. 

“For some reason: It’s not enough after that. Like, you  **need** the touch of someone else. I hate it...” I finished and curled up, folding my ears. She gingerly caressed my shoulder. I managed to hold back my tears. Barely. Awful memories came flooding back. “Have you... starved?” she asked with worry. I hissed weakly and glanced to the side. We sat in blissful silence for a minute as she kept rubbing my shoulder.

I gingerly placed my hand atop her other hand on her lap.“Um, sorry to pry but: Adora refused to tell me, but: The days after you had met. You... had a very ‘peculiar’ expression.” she drew her question out. “Was... was Adora your first time? You were practically glowing for days.” she asked sheepishly. I squinted as my cheeks warmed up pleasantly. I didn’t even have to reply... she knew.

There was another brief pause. “Um, so... if that’s the case, how did you... ‘deal with it’ before?” she asked softly. I nervously brushed through my mane as I tightened the grip around her hand. The oversized hoodie from Adora slipped down and she gasped. I froze as I glanced down. Everything was exposed down to my elbow. My teeth briefly chattered. She pulled the sleeve up without saying a word.

She just turned her hand around, grabbing a hold of mine. I teared up. Adora’s little speech about how ‘I had nothing to be ashamed of’ came to mind. ‘My exterior didn’t reflect my interior’ or something like that. I shivered. It’s just easier to have something physical, easy to see. I can attribute the pain to it. Hurting inside... that wasn’t visible. I could see myself in the mirror,  **knowing** I was hurting. But... nothing showed.

It was letting the pain flow out. She nudged me gently. “I’m guessing Adora has given you ‘the talk’ on external and internal afflictions?” she whispered compassionately. I nodded slowly. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But I’m here if you want to get it off your chest.” She added solemnly. I haven’t managed to open up to Adora about that part of my life. There was  **no** way I’d be able to do it with her.

... it was also one of few topics Adora didn’t force me to enclose. She made me feel loved regardless. She even touches my scars as if they were nothing negative. Just part of me. She makes me feel attractive even if my brain tells me I’m not. “Thinking about Adora?” she asked. I sighed and nodded. “I was looking forward to this year’s estrus, however weird that sounds... just because I had someone to spend it with...” I murmured.

“Just, nip it at the bud.” I said as I adjusted my bangs, then stroked my tufts. “How so?” she asked curiously. “Well, I can feel it build up... unless I wake up from the cramps. I could just have Adora hold me firm, then take a minute to make me pop. Just... no fuzz. I’ve  _ always _ wanted someone to help me through it. Ugh... I hate how I need someone else for it...” I scowled and glared to the side. 

“I can imagine... especially if it starts before you are at an age you feel ready, or willing.” She said, then pondered. “Seriously though? A minute? Is Adora  **that** good nowadays? I didn’t even know that was possible!” she noted with a whistle, impressed. Anger briefly flared up before it dawned on me what she meant. I smiled sheepishly. “Actually... that’s how long I last.” I admitted.

“Oh. OH! Sorry, sorry! I just...” She trailed off with a faint flush. I chuckled. “Tis a blessing and a curse~” I pointed out. “So uh... I bet she gives you a lot of them, then?” she asked playfully. I shook my head and gave her a weak smile. “Sadly no. I get super sensitive right after for several minutes. It’s not the best feeling to clock out and just be a shivering mess after a minute...” I murmured, wiping the remnant of tears. 

“Have you tried edging?” she offered helpfully. “Yeah. But: I  **wanna** cum. My body sucks.” I blepped at her playfully. She drummed her fingers. “Well... just saying: If you ask Adora to ‘use’ some of these toys, you might be forced to enjoy it longer?” she suggested. I mulled it over. “Hm, I guess... but: You were okay with sleeping here tonight or?” I asked hesitantly, fidgeting. I’m not used to her...

I didn’t want her to stay, but I’m scared to be alone. “I am, yes. Just... no funny business.” She noted with a smirk. I laughed nervously. “Um... I don’t wanna be  **that** girl but...” I hugged myself. She placed both her hands on my shoulders, turning me to face her. “Look, I know what you’re getting at...” She explained. I tensed up, my breathing increased as I tried to read her expression.

“If you wake up in pain I’ll... ‘take care of it’...” She added with a slight grimace. I relaxed and exhaled. “I hope I can trust you not to lie about that?” she asked. I nodded. “Yeah... I currently would like you to give me a quick rub, but... my heat hasn’t progressed to a point where I  **need** it.” I smiled weakly at her. “I’m just... constantly physically aroused. Just not mentally there yet.” I added. 

“Heh, yeah. I could tell when I entered. I was wondering if you had been jacking it non-stop since Adora left.” she giggled. “Wait, you can smell that?” I blurted out. “Uh, yeah? You smell like sex.” She casually clarified. “Huh... then again: I’ve only smelt it myself, and I have a really good sense of scents. And well... no-one has ever been in a confined room with me.” I noted thoughtfully. 

“It makes sense being your pheromones. Does explain it really well with your heat and all.” She noted. “Wait, if you smell it... why didn’t you say anything?” I inquired. “I mean: I don’t judge... if that’d been what made you happy while Adora was away, have at it!” she pointed out. “Plus: It’d have been rather weird to bring up casually in a conversation. ‘Ah, I see you enjoy flicking the bean’!” she added teasingly.

I cleared my throat. “Fair enough...” I murmured. “Well, you feel safe enough to go to bed, or are you usually up later?” she asked. “No, now should be fine... I don’t feel safe but... I’m not scared at least...” I replied. “So, you want to use the cuffs?” she offered. I squirmed. “Not really... but I don’t want to go on a scratching fit again. So, it’s preferable. Even if they unnerve me...” I mumbled. 

“I think I’ll be fine without gloves just... lets not use any drugs.” I mewled. “Sure. Just let me know if you want me to uncuff you... you don’t sleep nude, do you?” she asked quizzically. “I mean... I can. But usually not.” I replied. “Oh, good.” She exhaled in relief. Huh, didn’t take her for the type to be skittish about nudity. Or was there something else? I furrowed my brow and glanced at her.

“So uh... do you do this type of stuff often?” I asked awkwardly. She guffawed. “Ha! No. Sorry Catra. This is basically my first time. At least this type of thing... I’ve had sleepovers before and stuff.” She admitted. “Huh... I thought you were used to things like this, going with how calm you are.” I pointed out. She smiled. “Yeah, no. I’m just working on getting out of my comfort zone.” She noted. 

“I am pretty used to sexually charged situations however.” She added with a wink. “But... didn’t you just say you visit some... sexual things regularly?” I asked. She chuckled and nodded. “I do. But, it’s... not for sexual reasons, if that makes sense. It’s just the most comfortable way for me to get endorphins. So... it’s sorta for health reasons?” she replied with a contemplative expression.

“I mean: You have sex outside of your estrus.” She pointed out. I shuffled a bit. “Well, yeah... but it feels nice. I just don’t  **have** to have sex. I still want to...” I murmured. She laughed softly. “Kinda the opposite for me: I don’t really want sex, but I ‘have’ to have it.” She said. I quirked a brow. She noticed. “It negatively affects my immune system if I don’t. Aaand I start to stress out.” She explained.

“So, one is a ‘treatment’, that also helps with my stiff neck and whatnot else. And the other is a cheap, fast fix. There’s no fuzz, nothing personal. Just a relatively professionally done service.” She clarified. “Isn’t that like... unsanitary?” I asked. She casually waved it off. “It  **can** be. But, the places I go to are just fine. The massage parlour disinfects between each client. And I use a lick-patch at the glory hole.” She retorted.

“You  **can** go to a lick-patch free hole, but then you need to take a blood sample before and ugh, I hate needles. So... rubber it is. It gets the job done anyhow. Doesn’t lose much sensation anyhow. I don’t recommend places without sanitation standards.” She noted. I shivered at the mention... needles. “Sure, practically all dangerous STI’s are extinct, but they’re still a pain in the ass... or cunt.” She added with an amused tonguesmirk.

I scrunched my nose. “I’m not sure what is weirder: that you know all of this, or that several people have meticulously gone through this enough to figure all of this out.” I mumbled. She shrugged. “It’s sex. Nearly everyone is obsessed with it.” She stated as she dangled her legs over the edge of the bed. “Next to food, it’s like the thing we’ve invented the most stuff too.” She added, shooting me a smug glance.

Well, I can’t argue with that... Plumeria Sutra has like what? 34 volumes? Still baffles me the amount of ways people invent to have sex. I plopped down in bed, I began to pull the hoodie off, then hesitated. She averted her eyes, staring into the far corner of the room. I inhaled the neck of the sweater. Adora. I’d sweat all over it though... I didn’t want to be weird. “I um... it’s not the scars...” I started awkwardly. 

She tilted her head, but didn’t reply. I took that as a sign to continue. “I just want to be able to smell her...” I murmured. “Just use it as a pillow? Or sleep on her side of the bed?” she offered quietly. I hesitated, then slid it off. I wrapped it around my pillow and slid under the blanket. “Ready...” I mewled. She turned to face me with a warm smile. She nonchalantly stripped down to her underwear.

“I should have brought my PJ’s, but ah well.” She said casually and got into the bed after grabbing the cuffs. She gently began to tie me down. Wrapping it around my wrists, clicking it into place. It was firm, but a comfortable grip. My hands were in a weird angle, but it didn’t hurt. I could barely move my hands. Scratching would be difficult. My anxiety started to kick in. Relax... she won’t hurt me... Adora trusts her.

She moved down and restrained my legs by the ankles. I was now all but helpless. I couldn’t help but feel aroused. Not sure if it was the heat, but I sure hope so. I’m not sure I’m okay to get hard from the thought of being at someone’s mercy. Can I even sleep like this? She pulled the blanket back up over us. “You good like this? Or do you need me to spoon your or something?” she asked softly, ruffling my hair.

Do I? I scrunched my nose in contemplation. “I dunno? But... Can I wrap my tail around your arm? I don’t think you have to spoon be but... being able to recline against you would be nice...” I murmured and rolled to the side. “I can work with that~” she chimed, and briefly rummaged under the blanket until she found my hips. I coiled my tail up along her arm, an unsettling tranquillity washed over me.

I carefully leaned back against her. It wasn’t the same. But I didn’t want to lie where Adora did. That’s her place. She’ll have to do as a substitute for now. It... it was really nice of her to come over just to soothe my anxious ass. My ears shot up as she clapped her other hand on her... chest? Thigh? I hadn’t taken in her plump curves too closely as she undressed. But the lights went out. It took me longer than it should have to register.

Well... now all that was left as to try and sleep... I inhaled deeply, then closed my eyes. “Good night Catra~” she whispered. I tensed up briefly. “Good night Glimmer...” I whispered back. I had only half freaked out today so...progress? I squirmed slightly. This was weird... did I even need the cuffs? It was only my first day in heat. I’m kinda over-preparing. What has even become of me? I just want to do better...

I wonder if I’d be dead by now if Adora hadn’t found me? I mean... I wasn’t suicidal. But I wasn’t in a good place either. Oh great... my mind is gonna be like that, huh? This was gonna be a long night... was it weird I felt an inkling of safety like this?

*


End file.
